Ok, my few cents in to this off topic 
I have got an email titled as feedback from customers, with the following content:
âI would like to suck my fucking dickâ )))
As I wrote that every email will be answered, really I didnt know what to answer to this feedback ))
Maybe âYou have to start doing yoga.â? 
I have got 2 star on nothingâŚ
You know how i posted a thread that no body can open it and than post it.
Someone emailed me once and said âGo Kill Yourself You f*****â when I introduced aggressive ads into my apps. I laughed.
So, did you do it?
i got these two for my app (Camera Gunshot)
âuseless shit. after running for only a moment you will see an interface with weapons and then the main image covers everything and anything you can do about it 1 star is too muchâ
and this one
âhorny hornyâ (with 5 stars)
A user recently couldnât find options button in my game and complained he canât get into options. Red, huge button.
PS. For that reason I made some buttons in my game fade in and out constantly so users notice them. My UI is not the best design, I know, but come on, you must be blind to not notice buttons.
A guy emailed me twice in an interval of two months to say, âYou should take your shit app to iphone, or better yet just kill yourselfâ.
Another guy gave 1 Star and kept on sending me CAPS-LOCKED emails for an month, telling me i need to improve the app.
One guy wrote something like (translated from spanish):
âThe game sucks, its really bad but since the developer was crying for a rating i will give him 5 stars hahahahahaâ
Somebodies head is messed upâŚ
got a 1* review from a girl who said my app didnât work, she couldnât get to the next question of a quiz. it was a viewpager so she needed to swipe. everybody else figured it out except her. though i never actually mention that you need to swipe in the app, i just assume people figure it out. iâm wondering does she have a point or is she an idiot. opinions?
I think both. Assume users are idiots when designing an UI.
Whenever you make something idiot proof, Nature makes a bigger idiotâŚ
had to post this one i came across on reddit
Its real fun and I wanted to be first 2 star
My favorite are the ones where the reviews makes shapes/designs with punctuation marks⌠thatâs always nice
I got a lot of positive comments saying something like: âI like itâ, âVery niceâ, âThe best appâ, âThe app i looking forâ, âI recommend this appâ and finally they gave 1 star 
On the other hand (rarely) I got five stars from unsatisfied people :).
Ahah once I got a 5-star comment âNon câho voglia di scrivereâ (I am too lazy to write)âŚ
And for my word game one player said that âafter reaching level p I get only âEâ and itâs impossible to continue this game sucksâ⌠now, level p is level number 42 on 64⌠how can you say that it sucks if you play at least 3-4 hours to get there! 
hey many of you will often get a comment like âhorny. hornyâ from germans because there are 2 meanings for the word âgeilâ in german. at first it means what you know and the second meaning is an exaggerated form of the word âcoolâ.
There is a user that writes everywhere âhardcore/hiphop/dabstep (depending on app) - no music - rock forever!â
its funny cuz I am actually a metalhead which is much more music in my mind.
I have an error in every single app that causes nullpointer. I do this because I easily love nullpointer user messages like
âgood cool app I enjoyâ or âruns smoothly I like itâ
some kid was so angry that he submitted me, I am his fuckmother. (" @#$% YOUâRE MOTHER ") and he wrote this about 20 times - everytime with his grammatical desease
âYour app ruined my sex lifeâ⌠thatâs my favorite.
âI hate this game. I canât stop playing!â ⌠5 stars.
Clear signs of addiction there. 