Funniest app reviews you have gotten

Ok guys we are living strange times and there are lot of strange people out there. What are the most funniest / strange reviews you have gotten?

Ok i will start today i received one star rating from a finnish teenager:

“Vittu Voi vittu ei mikää saatana onnistu vittu yritän saatana ainaki vittu miljoona kertaa ladata tätä pelii mut ei vittu joku tuntematon virhekoodi 110 ihan vittuu vois tän pelin heittää”

In English that is swearing, swearing, swearing + unknown errorcode 110 during installation + swearing and swearing.

I know that is not that funny, but it made me happy, since i cant even do anything if he gets an installation error from Android Market.

Please share your funniest reviews! I know you have them :smiley:

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for my App “Laser Blaster Simulator” (type of soundboard):

“This is not what i was looking for Where can i get a laser pointer that actually works this was just stupid just noise”

In one of my apps, one of the users couldn’t open the app - force close on start up, he wrote "Useless Developer, You would be better as a carpenter " :smiley: . Laughed at myself for like a minute and questioned my competence as a developer…:stuck_out_tongue: Really, the guy made my day!!!

just got a mail from a user telling me that he do not like my game :slight_smile:

LOL! Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 ICS easy to hack with gamecih befor 3 month i was love this game but now i hate this game

xD - converted a 5-star to a 1-star after 3 months of enjoying the game :slight_smile:

btw: he really complains that I do not use high sofisticated memory encryption techniques to prevent it from being cheated? how poor is that …

btw2.: he isnt actually using a Galaxy Tab, but a China Pad instead - xD

Lol, well if he hates it now that he hacked it, its his fault for hacking it! Whats he doing, hacking for the highscore or what?

I had a 1 star for WordHero that said it was just to harvest email addresses :confused:

I have a review that says he recommends my app 200% but then he only rated it 4 stars. Shows people don’t think much about how they rate apps.

l’ve just got a 2 star review saying “OK OK”

He recommends it 80% then.

I blame Yelp. In their rating system, 2 is “I’ve had better”. 3 is “A-OK!” And yes, this is out of 5.

Obviously that was a bit tongue-in-cheek, but the point is that people may have quite different interpretations of the ratings system, and to some 3 stars may demark a completely satisfactory experience. :confused:

Maybe Google should switch to a smiley based rating system. :smiley:

Google Play reviews:

5 stars = “I like it”
1 star = “I don’t like it”

You forgot the “5 stars if you implement this feature” 4 star reviews.

Not a review but a complain I got through e-mail: “I keep getting asked to buy premium version. While playing free game I do not want to buy.”. The ad for the premium is a small rectangle at the top visible only in menu…

Heh… these really piss me off! I feel like I am being blackmailed :frowning:

I was blackmailed once. Someone gave me 1 star review and send me an e-mail that he will change it if I fix some problem he has (which was probably caused by a problem with his device).

not sure how acurate someone can hit 5 stars on small phones … :slight_smile:

I got even 1-stars with 100% recommandation … :wink:

I have no problem, when people vote 4-stars if they have a reason for it - it gives me a chance to improve the app. Like that much more than a 1-star-no-comment

I haven’t had many comments yet but the “funniest” so far is probably a 1-star review I got saying that the guy who invented math should get beaten… Totally unrelated to my app.
I agree with the 1-star ratings without comment, although I’ve only got one of them, really annoying…

“3 ESTRELLAS No lo probe pero los graficos.son malisimos no se entiende lo que dice…”
It says: “3 stars: I didn’t play but the graphics are horrible, I don’t know what they say”

D’oh!

The other day I got a 1-star rating, with this comment:

Really 5-star!!!get dev attention
Really awesome app just wanted to say its works like a charm with little lags but other than that its spot on but if you can make the app screen quality better like an actuall iphone and the top part of the screen is displaying my normal andriod time batery etc… But really awesome app Just a reminder Really 5-STAR not 1 just wanted creators attention Midz :slight_smile:

So this guy thought it was a great app, but gave me a 1-star rating just to get attention!